Tightrope Walkin'

I've been ignoring the blog lately, but it's only temporary, I promise!  I wrote a few months ago about my friends/landlords wanting to sell their house, and while they've decided against it, I'm still making plans to move out and begin the foster care licensing process some time soon.  Moves cost money, though, so God and I made a deal... whenever He provides the $___ I need, I'll know it's time to take that step.  It might take six months, or it could take two years.  I'm being diligent about saving, but completely open to His timing.

That being said, when my church approached me last month about stepping into an interim position to help the transition between children's ministers go more smoothly, I jumped at the chance.  Not for a split second did I consider the time I'd need to invest or the weight of the additional responsibility; my only thought was moving money!!!  It seemed like such an answer to prayer that I never thought to ask for confirmation.

While having a second job obviously puts me a little closer to my goal of moving out, it also takes away from my writing time, and I've wrestled with guilt over that decision.  Now, for all I know, God may have planned this season so that I could let my projects simmer and return to them with new eyes and a fresh perspective, but I'll never know because I was too set on doing what "made sense."

This is where it's easy to get tripped up and fall into the enemy's trap.  We pray for provision, and then when opportunities present themselves, we busy ourselves in the name of "God's plan."  But at what cost?  How much of what we do to earn money is in line with what He truly wants for us?  What do we sacrifice in order to chase that paycheck and the dream it fulfills?

The extra hours I've put in haven't bothered me in a physical, practical sense; I still have the time necessary to stay on top of my responsibilities, and I truly enjoy what I do.  But spiritually, I've found that I'm walking a fine line.  One side has me relying on God's time, the other, taking things into my own hands.  One side leads to the love of money itself, the other, recognizing the love of the Provider.  It's a battle between seizing an opportunity and potentially ignoring my calling, willingness to work hard and taking time for holy rest.

Maybe you're not saving for a down payment, but I'd be willing to bet that everyone has a God-given dream that hinges on a bank account balance.  Maybe it's upgrading to a more reliable car.  Maybe it's quitting your job to stay home with your kids.  Maybe it's traveling or getting out of debt or starting a non-profit ministry.  Or maybe you just want to make it to the end of the month without worrying about how you're going to get food on the table.  Whatever your financial dreams, I absolutely encourage you to ask for provision.  But when the opportunities come, don't forget to weigh the costs, pray about your decision, and trust Him regardless of what He says.  Unnecessary busyness is never a part of God's plan for us, and no goal is worth giving up those things that are most important to us.

Mandalas in Color (and a giveaway!)

Think of the last time you talked to God.

And now think of five adjectives to describe the time you spent with Him.

If you're anything like me, you likely have at least a couple of words like these: hurried, distracted, bored, disjointed....

In a world of technology-obsessed, multi-tasking overachievers, it's sometimes hard to put our screens and to-do lists to the side in order to just be.  Reflection, meditation, Bible study, prayer... heck, even sleep can leave us feeling guilty for not getting enough done in our day.  But at the end of that day, when every chore has been completed and every Facebook post has been read, we know that those quiet moments between us and God are the ones that keep us going.  Without Him, we lack the strength or motivation to fight our way through tomorrow.

Over the years, I've tried numerous things to make my prayer time more fruitful.  I've tried taking a walk and kneeling beside my bed.  I've written in a journal and had reminders pop up on my phone.  I've prayed outloud and in small, dark closets.  Each of these methods have their merits, of course, but none of them seemed to work for me.  What has worked is coloring my way through my God time.

Yep.  You heard me right.  Coloring... as in colored pencils and a coloring book.

I'm not sure if it's my creative nature or just my inner preschool teacher, but coloring is one of my favorite past times.  There are few things more relaxing than turning a black and white page into something beautiful.  Needless to say, I was all over it when my pastor encouraged our small group to color a prayer mandala as "homework" for our class one week.

I knew that coloring could be therapeutic, but what I hadn't noticed before was the way that keeping my hands in motion freed my mind from it's constant running.  When I'm focused on the color patterns and the physical act of staying inside the lines, my mind doesn't have time to wander.  Each time I put down a pencil, pick up a new color, and start on the next section of the picture, my thoughts are brought back to the task at hand.  Combining this exercise with prayer has allowed my time with God to be focused as well.  Suddenly the prayer and meditation time I struggled to hold together for 10 minutes before my mind raced down any number of rabbit trails can now go on for nearly an hour before my ADD kicks in and I have to get up and start doing something.   Unfortunately, I don't have time to color every day, but it's become my go-to activity when there's something God and I need to talk out or when I just want to take time to listen.

Because I love my prayer mandalas so much, I want to give YOU a chance to discover them, too!  If you'd like to win a copy of Mandalas in Color * (pictured above), simply comment here or retweet my post on Twitter- or both!  Entries will be accepted through midnight on Thursday, and the winner will be announced Friday morning. Good luck, and happy coloring!  :)

Five things I want my teenagers to know about prayer

Aside from Scripture reading, prayer is one of the most fundamental spiritual disciplines.  Without it, a true relationship with Christ is all but impossible, yet an active prayer life is something many Christians struggle with, myself included.  What is it exactly that makes us struggle with something so simple?  Is it the feeling that we have nothing to say, or no time with which to say it?  Is it the feeling that it doesn't matter if we do or don't say anything?  Is it a fear of doing it wrong?  Each of these excuses are just that- excuses- and the sooner we realize that, the sooner we can begin to tap into the abundant life God has for us.

If I could share five things I wish my girls knew about prayer, it would be these:

1) Prayer is nothing more than a conversation.  We've all heard this before, but what does it tell us about how and when we pray?  Think about your best friend and all the ways and reasons you talk to her.  There are quick texts sent when you don't have a lot of time.  There are gab sessions over coffee when you need to vent or get advice.  There are late night, how-would-I-ever-survive-without-you, heart to hearts.  And just as there are lots of ways to communicate with your best friend, there are lots of ways to communicate with your Savior.  You don't always have to talk to Him on your knees at the altar, but you also can't maintain a relationship with one-liners.  Balance is key.

2) There's no such thing as a bad prayer.  I think this is where many of us get stuck because we listen to the "professionals" on Sunday and know that our eloquence will never measure up.  One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone asks for a volunteer to pray out loud at a gathering, and after the prayer is said, someone says "Good job" or "That was great."  This implies that there are less-than-great prayers and nothing scares us away from something more than a fear of failure.

3) God's big enough to handle your honesty.  Sometimes we avoid praying because we think we've got to be in a good place spiritually- full of faith and joy and ready to praise.  And while God enjoys our good moods, He can hang with the bad ones, too.  If we're hurt, angry, confused, or worried, He already knows, which means we might as well talk to Him in the midst of our frustration.  Any relationship worth having is grounded in honesty, so don't try to hide from Him when you're feeling less than your best.  Lay it all out there and know He'll handle it with grace.

4) Prayer isn't a selfish act, but we gain more than we think when we do it.  Praying to thank God for all He's given you?  You'll start to notice how very blessed you are.  Praying to praise God for who He is?  He'll reveal even more of Himself to you.  Praying to ask for help?  You'll begin to see His hand in so many ways, regardless of how things turn out.  Praying on someone else's behalf? You'll find it easier to trust them into His care, and strengthen the bond between you to boot.  Prayer opens you up to the work of the Holy Spirit, and changes you from the inside out.

5) Just because you don't hear a response doesn't mean you haven't been heard.  I'm pretty sure all bloggers everywhere have the same secret.  We love getting comments on our posts.  Even though we aren't doing this for fame, we do like knowing that people are reading our words.  And when we write and write and write with nary a comment, it can get a little discouraging.  Prayer can be the same way.  If we feel as if we're doing nothing more than talking to the ceiling, it's easy to ask ourselves why we bother doing it in the first place.  Paul, however, writes in Ephesians 3:12 that because of Jesus, we can approach God with confidence.  We don't have to wonder if He hears, or cares, or even wants to listen.  He wouldn't have given us His Son if His plan was to ignore us.  He did it to make a relationship possible.

Prayer isn't something that's meant only for the spiritually mature.  There's no right or wrong way to do it, and you don't have to get up before dawn.  Just say what's on your heart, and watch how He responds.  Come confidently, and know that He's waiting with open arms.